Coaching often draws emotions out. During a session it is not uncommon for someone to experience emotions, positive and negative. This can include tears and sadness. It is interesting how people respond to finding themselves crying during a session. Often, people’s instinct is to apologise. I don’t know whether this is down to living in Britain and a culture of not sharing emotions or crying in front of others or if there is something else going on.
There is no need to apologise. Coaching is a safe space for people to explore their thoughts and hopes and emotions. It is a space to think deeply and holistically, and that includes emotions. In fact, considering, imagining and reflecting on emotion is crucial in coaching. This kind of work goes deeper than action plans that can be surface at times.
Emotions in and of themselves are not good or bad. It’s about where our emotions lead us, our self-awareness and strategies for dealing with the emotions we feel. Recognising, accepting and exploring our emotions often leads to insight and transformation.
As is releasing emotion. The great Nancy Kline says “Thinking stops when we are upset. But if we express feelings just enough, thinking re-starts.” Releasing emotion allows good quality thinking to start again.
As a coach, I am learning how to support people in exploring their emotions and not react in a way that could label an emotion unhelpfully. Specifically I am learning to not attempt and ‘fix’ people’s emotions during coaching.
Many thanks to ‘The Coaching Crowd’ for their helpful input on emotions in coaching.